The art of non-judgment

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”

There is much more to this Bible verse (Matthew 7:1) than what meets the eye.

Most people think this verse means that, if we judge, we will be judged by God in return.

Not quite.

In fact, God does not judge.

We humans, on the other hand, do.

We judge because of our dual mind. It is very human to divide everything into right or wrong, beautiful or ugly, and so on and so forth.

Because duality is the very nature of our mortal mind, we are bound to judge as long as we live in this physical, human, mortal body.

The more we judge others, the more we feel judged by others

In the same measure in which we judge others, we will feel judged by others. This is what Jesus meant when he said “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”

For example, if you tend to criticize people’s hair, you will feel like people are constantly judging yours. If you criticize people’s way of dressing, you will feel under scrutiny over your attire whenever you leave the house.

I look at people’s hands a lot and tend to be critical of them. No wonder I feel self-conscious about my own hands when they are not freshly manicured.

Whatever you criticize, you will feel criticized about

Your criticism of others is a really criticism toward yourself and things you dislike about yourself but you are stubbornly in denial about.

So, for example, if you criticize people who take a long time checking out at the store, you will feel all eyes on you when it’s your turn to check out (even when that is not the case).

It’s the same as when you develop a pimple on your forehead overnight. You’ll be self-conscious as hell about it. No one but yourself may notice or give a crap about it, but you will feel everyone’s eyes on it because your eyes are on it.

Get the drift?

Bottom line: if you want to stop that all-eyes-on-me feeling, try to develop some compassion and the art of non-judgment simply by being present to yourself, especially during times in which you are being judgmental toward another.

Positive judgement is also a way of judging

Why? Because most of the time it implies that the opposite of what we judge to be beautiful is ugly.

For instance, let’s take my personal example into consideration. I think to myself that manicured hands are beautiful. This automatically implies that non-manicured hands are not.

So how do we stop judging?

We do not.

We cannot.

If you try to stop judging, you will repress a natural, instinctual part of being human.

That will only do you more harm than good.

The best we can do is to be present to ourselves while our mind does the judging

By being present we slowly distance ourselves from our human mind.

We get to observe our personality and its workings from a detached point of view (the Soul vantage point), and slowly but surely become more compassionate and less judgmental.

Another thing we can do by being present when our mind is judging is to work on our own insecurities and learn more about ourselves.

Since we are going to judge till the day our physical body dies, why not make the most of it and use this very human characteristic to evolve and learn more about our subconscious patterns?

A word of warning

Becoming less judgmental does not mean we are going to be OK with everything that happens around us.

You can still pop someone in the face if they attack you; you can still have someone arrested if you know they’re breaking the law; you can still stand up to a bully and get pissed off at someone for stealing from you… only this time (by being present) you will do so with love in your heart, without resentment or animosity whatsoever.

It is OK to be and act human, but, by being present, you will do so with an open heart full of compassion. Big difference, my friend.

Exercise for being present
Week 15

This week, be present whenever you use the toilet. Yep, that is, be present whenever you go number 1 and/or 2. No distractions. No reading allowed.

Namaste,
Francesca
The Lone Wolf

How to develop coping skills like a pro

Blurred sunset beach in the background. Title in the foreground reading how to develop coping skills like a pro

In my previous blog post I talked about how escaping pain is not the answer to dealing with it.

So then what is?

Developing positive, healthy coping skill is the answer.

What are coping skills exactly?

In short, coping skills are behaviors we humans engage in to cope with a stressful/painful situation.

They can be positive, healthy, strong behaviors that get you through the pain safe and sound; or they can be negative unhealthy, poor behaviors that end up causing more pain and additional issues on top of the original problem.

Translation:

If you are resorting (or have resorted) to alcohol and/or other drugs to weaken your perception of pain and/or as a distraction from it, then, my dear, you need to develop some effective (a.k.a. healthy and positive) coping skills.

Drinking and doing other drugs is indeed a way of coping. However, it is a POOR way of coping

Yes, sir and ma’am.

A way that in the long run (oftentimes in the short term) is going to do you and those who love you more harm than good.

Some coping skills are undoubtedly better than others, and those are precisely the types of skills I am going to teach you how to develop in today’s blog post.

Quick tip:

Work on these steps with a friend, a companion, or a therapist. Someone who cares and can help you non-judgmentally.

You can also do this on your own, but since denial is the main coping strategy of those who engage in unhealthy coping behaviors you may need someone to help you be objective and stay motivated.

Are you ready?

Let’s dive in.

4 steps to develop healthy and effective coping skills:

1. Observe yourself

What do you usually do when you are experiencing emotional pain? What’s the pattern?

Becoming aware of your behavior is the place to start developing positive coping skills.

There are two parts to this:

a. Take an objective look at what you do and what you do not do when you are in pain (it would be useful to write down these behaviors).

b. Then, ask yourself if the behavior(s) you engage in when you are experiencing emotional pain or stress are healthy or unhealthy.

If they are unhealthy, then move on to the next step.

Bonus Tip:

Do this exercise to become fully aware of your coping mechanisms:

  • Write down any and all coping behaviors you engage in when stressed out or in emotional pain
  • Go over what you wrote and circle all negative behaviors
  • Draw a vertical line in the middle of a blank page
  • In one half transcribe the healthy coping skills from the original paper, in the other half write the unhealthy ones you circled

This is going to help you observe at a glance the coping behaviors you engage in.

2. Once you identify the negative coping skills, look for the reason behind them

You will have to be very honest with yourself at this point.

Why do you engage in these behaviors?

For example, let’s say you drink to cope. Why do you do that?

Reason: because it blurs your consciousness and you find peace of mind for a while.

So what other activities that are healthier for you could have the same calming effect?

Next step.

3. Brainstorm healthy alternatives

What healthy behaviors could you engage in instead of the unhealthy ones you are used to?

If you cannot come up with any ideas, try thinking of someone you admire for the way they get through tough times in a healthy way (it could even be someone from your favorite TV show, as long as they cope positively).

What strategies do they use?

4. Take action

Start implementing these healthy behaviors right away.

It will take presence for you to do this, because you are literally taking a familiar old pattern and substituting it with a brand new one.

Just like anything unfamiliar and new, it will not come natural at first.

In fact you might even feel like you are not being “true to yourself,” so to speak.

However, rest assured that the more you engage in positive coping strategies the more natural they will come to you over time.

Again, it is not going to be an easy ride, hence the importance of having the support of a friend or a therapist during this learning process.

It will be tempting to go back to your old ways because they are so familiar (and familiar does feel safe, even when it’s ohhh so bad for us), but if you stick to the new, healthier behaviors in time they will become second nature.

Namaste,

Francesca

The Lone Wolf


Pain as the gateway to a better you

Today someone I know opened up to me about how he drinks himself to oblivion in order to escape the pain of divorce. The divorce happened years ago, but he can’t seem to move on from his past and keeps on drinking to deal.

How many of you are in his same situation? How many of you are drinking or using other drugs in order to cope?

My friends, I have news for you.

Escapism is not going to take away the pain.

Hear me out and write this on every wall of your home if you have to as a reminder to yourself:

Escapism is NOT going to take away the pain.

What is escapism?

Escapism, as defined on Wikipedia, is “the avoidance of unpleasant, boring, arduous, scary, or banal aspects of daily life. It can also be used as a term to define the actions people take to help relieve persistent feelings of depression or general sadness.”

So basically when you get shitfaced in the hopes of momentarily forgetting about whatever problem you have got going on in your life, you are engaging in a form of escapism, for you are literally escaping (or attempting to escape) the problem.

However, these behaviors do not solve the problem. As a matter of fact they perpetuate it.

Guys, my friends, please understand this once and for all:

Pain is one of those things in life where the fight or flight response just does not cut it.

Pain has to be faced head first. It has to be dove into, explored, felt on every level and in every fiber of your being in order to be transcended.

Think of pain as a gateway to a better, stronger, wiser self; a door you have to walk through if you want to leave your past behind and be the best version of you that you can be right now, this very moment.

Embracing pain is a way to let go of the past, a way to shed your old skin and be reborn into a new life, a new self, a new You.

Embracing pain is the only way to heal pain.

Escaping from pain only perpetuates pain itself.

Think about it logically for one second.

You get fucked up and when you come back to has the problem been solved? Has it magically disappeared from you mind, from your consciousness?

Or is it still there, laughing in your face, making fun of you because now not only are you in pain but you have been hurting yourself (and those who truly do care about you) on so many other levels.

Escaping pain is NOT going to change the way you feel, at least not in the long run. And there you are, years later, still stuck in the past, stuck in a loop of endless and excruciating pain.

By escaping pain you are sabotaging your own recovery and healing process.

I get it. We live in a society where pain is dealt with by popping painkillers. Drugs and alcohol (which is a drug) are the painkillers of the soul. They numb it. But only temporarily.

That’s like having a decaying tooth and taking painkillers instead of taking the motherfucker out altogether. How smart is that? How effective? Letting it rot until it becomes septic and kills you.

That’s the same when it comes to “dealing” with pain by drinking or doing other drugs.

So then what do you do?

Let’s start by developing some coping skills. And in order to develop those, you need to be present.

More about this in my next entry.

For now let this tidbit of info I just shared with you sink in.

You must realize the futility of getting wasted in order to take the next step.

Before you can move on, you must fully understand and be aware that alcohol (or whatever other drug you may be using in order to numb yourself to the pain you feel) is a hindrance, not an effective way of coping with or solving any problem.

The lack of coping skills is the main factor leading you to alcohol and drug use and abuse.

So digest this post first, and stay tuned for the next one on how to develop positive coping skills and transcend pain (and not only survive pain but thrive in the face of it).

Namaste,

Francesca

The Lone Wolf

The Truth about the Law of Attraction

Sensationalized by the book and the documentary The Secret, people have come to believe that the Law of Attraction boils down to positive thinking. Like attracts like.

Not quiet.

While it is true that like attracts like, there is a little more to the Law of Attraction than mere positive thinking; it goes a little deeper, and it has great spiritual significance.

Also known as the Law of Resonance, this is what the Law of Attraction is about: based on your level of consciousness at this moment in time, you will attract in your life people, experiences, and situations that are on your same level of consciousness.

Basically, we manifest around us the people, experiences, and situations that match our current level of consciousness and that are optimal for our spiritual evolution at this point in time.

Also, these people, experiences, and situations are conducive to moving on to the next level of consciousness that will come from experiencing the current circumstances.

Positive thinking alone doesn’t cut it.

You can force yourself to think positive all day, but if you go into a rage as soon as someone cuts you off on the road or you keep gossiping about your coworkers positive thinking won’t do you any good.

If there is not an interior shift, you will keep on manifesting whatever matches your true inner vibes.

Sometimes the people, experiences, and situations we have attracted will totally suck. But none of it was put upon us by some kind of external force. We tend to feel victim of our circumstances as if someone or something brought a certain situation into our life.

What we fail to see is we have brought it, whatever it is, into our life by resonance.

Therefore, from a spiritual, esoteric point of view we are always in the right place at the right time. With no exception. As we evolve on a soul level, then the people, experiences, and situations surrounding us also change.

The Law of the Mirror

Whenever something outside of us bothers us, in reality we are looking at something that is within us that we do not want to admit is a part of us.

For instance, disrespectful people make you want to cut their head off. Truth is you are also disrespectful in your own way and under some circumstances, but you don’t want to see that in yourself.

So you project what you are in denial of onto the outside world, and you notice every instance of others being disrespectful, which in turn bothers you profoundly.

Whatever aspects of yourself you are in denial of, suppressing, or expressing in areas of your life and making excuses for it are aspects you notice and loathe in others.

Simply put: what bothers us outside of us is within us.

The cause of our discomfort can never be exterior.

I explained this in depth in this post. However, the main two reasons why this is so is because:

  • if the cause truly were exterior everyone would react the same way to it
  • if we change the situation (new partner, new job, new home, new town, cosmetic surgery, etc.) we are still faced with the same issue

This is easy to see in the place of work and in relationships.

We change work environment because something bothers us just to find out it’s also in our new work environment.

We change partner because some things about them bother us just to find out our new partner also displays those features.

I knew a lady who thought the source of her insecurity was her small breasts, but she was just as insecure as before after she had a very successful and beautifully done breast augmentation surgery! That’s because her insecurity was not caused by something outside of her.

By resonance, we attract the people and situations that allows us to observe externally those aspects of us we do not accept about ourselves

The coworker you loathe so much is showing you an aspect of yourself you deny to possess or can’t stand to possess.

Everything about us we refuse to see manifests itself by showing up in the people around us.

That’s how we know what we need to work on.

The Law of the Mirror follows three main principles:

  • we have a problem with what we are
  • we have a problem with what we want to be
  • we have a problem with what we let go of or has been taken from us

For example, you may loathe a sex worker because you also sell yourself in your own way (on the job or to a partner, for example) to obtain material things.

You may loathe a sexually liberal woman because you wish to be like her instead of being sexually repressed.

You may dislike people who make public displays of affection because you were did not receive any in your childhood or in the course of your life.

We also tend to attract people who complement us

That is, people who display qualities opposite to ours.

So, for instance, if you’re a victim you’ll attract someone who tends to victimize you, if you are the jealous type you will attract a cheater, if you’re morbidly attached to your car/money/material belongings you’ll attract thieves to show you that aspect of you.

So what can you do?

So observe what bothers you, making sure to do so without judgment.

We won’t always be able to see right away why something is bothering us or understand what that person or experience is showing us, and that’s when we need to look deeper inside and for a longer time.

How to work with the Law of the Mirror

Very simply by constantly observing with compassion and unconditional acceptance our judgements and the things that bother us (ha! not so simple after all, right?).

A good place to start is to keep in mind, at all times, the evangelical saying: “Love your enemies.”

Then turn your attention on the inside.

This principle alone can bring about awakening because it forces the Heart to open.

Exercises for being present
Week 14

  1. Remember yourself every time you turn a switch on or off (that is when you turn on/off a light, your computer, the TV, the radio, etc.)
  2. Use your non-dominant hand to do most or all things you normally do with your dominant hand

Namaste,
Francesca
The Lone Wolf

How and why decluttering replenishes your energy

Need an energy boost? Declutter now.

Clutter.

No matter how little, we all have clutter in our homes.

Whether it’s in the garage, the kids’ room, in an old drawer you haven’t opened in years, the attic, or even your wallet, clutter is there, and it can be found anywhere.

And, most of all, it’s an energy killer.

My experience

I have a 16-month old daughter who keeps me so busy sometimes it’s hard to keep the place tidy, especially when she walks after me making a hot mess of the very places I just finished tidying up.

I’ve lost count of the times I put my books back in the bookshelf just for her to go throw them all back on the floor within 5 minutes. Not to mention her toys and the hundreds of colored plastic balls she loves to scatter all over the place. What about shoes? Let’s not talk about that.

On top of all this, I don’t get as much as 5 minutes to myself. Which is why yesterday, after days of feeling under the weather and not understanding exactly why, I got my girl ready and sent both her and Dada out for a couple of hours.

I spent the first 30 minutes of aloneness just sitting down, deep breathing, unable to lift a finger, mentally drained and trying to gather some energy to no avail. Then I took a look around and realized my house, especially my bedroom, was a disaster: my workspace looked like a tornado went through it, the two play-pins had become a receptacle for junk of all kinds, there were empty or partially empty water bottles virtually in every corner of my bedroom, and the bed was undone.

Just looking around I felt overwhelmed and exhausted.

That’s when it hit me that my energy was lacking not only because of how draining it is to raise a child basically by myself, but also because the clutter in the house, specifically in my bedroom, was eating away at whatever energy I may have left.

So…

So I got down to business, despite the overwhelming sluggishness.

I made the bed, did laundry, folded the one that had already been done, decluttered the play-pins (which I then folded and stashed away), threw away 4 bags full of unneeded junk I collected from every corner of the sleeping quarters, cleared up my work table, tidied up my girl’s room, then vacuumed the entire top floor.

By the time my loves got back, the entire top floor had been cleaned and tidied up beyond recognition.

And my energy was restored.

In fact, the more I got done the more I felt like doing.

And, eerily enough, my 6-year old iPhone that crapped out on me and had been dead despite being plugged into the wall all day, suddenly started charging. So not only did I feel much better and full of energy, but so did everything else around me.

Today, for the first time in over a month, I have the energy to type up this blog post.

And it’s no coincidence.

Energy cords and clutter

We are energy. Everything around us is energy. And between us and every single thing around us, living, non-living, physical, and non-physical run so-called energy cords.

Energy travels back and forth through these cords, and while some cords provide us with energy, others drain it to the last drop.

Yep. The cord to clutter is the kind that drains.

So, whatever is in your home that doesn’t need to be there has to go, if you want to keep your frequency high and your energy flowing.

Even a balled-up receipt on the nightstand has to find its way in the trash and out of your home, or it may take energy from you.

Even the smallest, thinnest cord will drain the life out of you when added up to a bunch more little cords.

And we have cords connecting us to everything in our homes!

Tips, please…

So here are some tips to make your home a place of positive and restoring energy:

  • get rid of any and all objects associated with anything negative (people, places, experiences, etc.)
  • get rid of objects that belong in the trash
  • take out your trash regularly (at least once a day)
  • let go of whatever you don’t love or don’t use
  • schedule time for decluttering (even 15 minutes every day)


Give decluttering a try

It feels so good to declutter, it may even prompt you to do so in other areas of your life, such as weeding out negative individuals from your circle of friends and acquaintances and being more selective with the type of energy you surround yourself with.

Namaste,
Francesca
The Lone Wolf

The hidden meaning of life experiences

“Why me?”

How many times have you asked yourself this question, often aloud and in an exasperated voice?

That is indeed a very good question.

Thing is most people ask if in a rhetorical way

They don’t truly care to understand why. They just want to vent their frustration.

But if you go deeper, if you ask the question and are willing to take the time to understand your experience and the meaning behind it, if you really attempt to find out “why you,” you will not only grow but also thrive.

Nothing happens by chance

Illness, an accident, a loss of any kind, meeting someone, even our job do not happen just because.

No matter what happens in our life, there is always more to it than what meets the eye. There is symbolic meaning in each and every life experience we encounter along the way.

The reality surrounding us is a symbol of something deeper within ourselves. It is meant to show you the way to inner growth, but only if you are receptive to it will you be able to read between the lines.

Intuition: the key to understanding the meaning behind our life experiences

The rational mind is very useful for many things in life, but it will only get you so far. When it comes to understanding the meaning of certain happenings in our life we need to listen to our intuition and do some serious introspective work.

For example, say there is someone in your life who pisses you off enormously. Often you will say this person brings the worst out of you and you’ll look up and wonder what you could possibly have done to deserve such a [fill in the blank] in your life.

Well, my friend, it’s time to find out the meaning of this experience. Why did this person happen in your life? What lesson is awaiting to be learned? What’s the deeper meaning behind the emotions you feel and the reactions you have around this person? What is this person’s symbolic role in your life? What are they teaching you?

In my case…

…it was a way for me to get to know a part of me I had been repressing for a long, long time, a.k.a. the angry, often victimistic, aggressive part of me. It was a way for me to see my own hypocrisy and come to terms with the fact that I am, in many symbolic ways, just like those who piss me off and whom I judge.

The whole point of the experience was to learn to accept those traits and personalities and integrate them in order for Me to evolve during the time I have come to spend in this plane of existence.

And this, guys, is still work in progress.

I am still working on this lesson as we speak. Once in a while I think I’ve made some serious progress and that’s when something happens to remind me I am not nearly done yet (and never will be; there is way too much to learn). It’s a fascinating way of living life, despite it being exhausting sometimes.

Next week we will talk about the Law of the Mirror (the “real” Law of Attraction, so to speak) and this week’s post will make a lot more sense then.

Until then, keep on working on being present. By the way, how is that going?

Remember that progress is made not by doing the exercise “correctly” (if there is such thing), but by putting in the effort to be present. Each time you remember yourself, if even for a fleeting moment, you are making progress.

Exercises for being present
Week 13

  1. For a week, strive to complete kitchen activities with your non-dominant hand. So eat, drink, do the dishes, cut the vegetables, spread jello on your bread with your non-dominant hand, whenever you remember to.
  2. Be present when you dress and undress, like during our very first week.

Namaste,
Francesca
The Lone Wolf

 

Energy Shifts and the Law of Octaves

Also known as the Law of Seven, this law teaches us that energy, like the ebb and flow of the ocean, experiences highs and lows.

Sometimes it flows, sometimes it slows.

Let me explain a little better.

The entire universe is energy.

This energy expresses itself in the form of vibrations on different frequencies. Some frequencies are very low (e.g., solid matter), while others are very high (the frequency of One, the universe, God,  whatever you may to call it).

Everything has a vibrational frequency

Including our feelings and emotions.

Depending on the medium through which we feel (psychophysical apparatus vs Soul) we experience and express emotions on a high or a low frequency.

For instance, pity is an emotion with a low vibrational frequency. Raise its vibration and you have compassion, which is a high-vibration emotion coming directly from the Soul.

What happens when energy slows down?

Like I said, energy flows and, at some point, it flows more slowly.

When energy slows down we experience an interruption or a stumbling block on our path, no matter what we are doing.

This is true for everything in life, from relationships to business endeavors.

No matter what we do, energy first flows then it slows down, sometimes leading to quitting a project or activity altogether.

For instance, say you start reading a book. You’re very much into it, then out of nowhere you simply stop reading it. It may be days, weeks, months, even years before you pick it up again. In some cases, you may just completely forget about it and never open it again during this lifetime.

Energy slows naturally, and thankfully so

Imagine if it didn’t stop! Imagine if energy kept growing and catching momentum. What would happen then? Let me give you a little help.

Think of a burning fire, a lightning bolt, a hurricane, or an earthquake. These are all examples of great energy in nature. Now, imagine if that energy never came to a halt. It would be a disaster. This planet would have ceased existing a long time ago.

Thankfully though, energy does slow down eventually.

Thanks to energy lows, we are able to reassess and either pick up where we left off or move on to something else.

Deviations

Every time energy slows down (i.e., our activity comes to a stop) we find ourselves facing a deviation.

A deviation is anything that may take us off/distracts us from our initial path or goal. That can be for better or worse.

For instance, think about religion. It normally starts off as something meant to do good, then at some point it deviates into a tool to hurt and control others. Or think about projects you started and ended up doing something other than what you had initially envisioned. It could certainly work out for you eventually, but we are still talking about a deviation from the original plan.

How do we apply the Law of Octaves to our daily lives?

Once again, we have to be present in order to use this law to our own advantage.

As long as you are present, you will be able to understand what is going on when a low hits you, and you will be able to make a conscious decision about your situation instead of blindly going with the flow.

I’ll give you a personal example.

I had had in mind to make jewelry for a while, and I was seriously tinkering with the idea when I said to myself hey, why not start a blog and then somehow tie my pieces into it?

I ended up starting this blog.

Before I knew it, I had invested into the blog and forgotten all about jewelry making. I became so engrossed in blogging (and all that comes along with it) that I entirely lost sight of my initial plan, which was to create beautiful, empowering, one-of-a-kind pieces of jewelry.

One day I was looking at my blog stats, a little upset to see I wasn’t getting that many views. I started once again brainstorming for ideas to get some eyes on my posts when it suddenly hit me.

“Hey, this was not the original plan. What happened to my jewelry making goal?”

Ironically, blogging had become a major deviation from the original plan.

I immediately got back on track, bought what I needed to start creating talismans and amulets, and here I am.

So, once again, observation is key.

If you stay present and observe yourself in every situation, you will be able to catch the energy as it slows down.

At that point, if you want to keep on working on your current project/activity you will have to re-energize/create an energy boost in order to go on with your activity.

Otherwise you may choose to focus on something else altogether. But at least you will have a choice, and you won’t simply float aimlessly like a log in the ocean.

Exercises for being present
Week 12

  1. Be present to yourself whenever you hear a mobile phone ring (any mobile phone, no matter whose it is).
  2. Be present when you walk, like in Week 11.

Namaste,
Francesca
The Lone Wolf

 

Spiritual Awakening Journal ~ Week 11

My fellow Spiritual Seekers,

I almost did not post this week’s entry.

That’s because I have been so caught up in my jewelry making that I lost track of time altogether.

Everything has been quite stationary.

I have been doing my exercises whenever I remember, and I have been practicing the Master Exercise (see Week 11), which has been a life saver on one many occasions.

Whenever I am faced with an overwhelming situation or I catch myself complaining a lot, that’s when I snap out of it and say “there is beauty and positivity also in this situation; I simply cannot see it because I yet have no eyes to see.”

As if that were some kind of a magical formula, suddenly I calm down and sink into a state of relaxation and pure surrender.

I repeat. It’s been a life saver.

Namaste,
Francesca
The Lone Wolf

 

Negative emotions and how to work with them

A word about negative emotions

When I use the term “negative emotions” I am referring to all those emotions that do not make us feel good/at peace.

Emotions such as anger, sadness, jealousy, envy are negative not because they are inherently wrong (in fact, they are not), but because they do not come from the Heart center, and elicit feelings opposite to those of Superior Emotions such as love and joy.

Despite being widely perceived as negative, these emotions are invaluably precious. In fact, they pave the way for us to experience Superior Emotions.

Alchemically, these negative emotions are the lead we can transmute into gold.

Why do negative emotions exist?

Negative emotions exist because our perception of reality is skewed.

We judge what happens around us according to our dual human mind. The mind categorizes everything in terms of right or wrong, and this causes us to feel good about what we perceive to be right and bad about what we perceive to be wrong.

On top of that, anything that  may constitute a threat to the survival of the psychophysical apparatus triggers inner processes that cause us to feel negative emotions such as fear, frustration, anger, bitterness, envy, jealousy, etc.

The fact that we believe negative emotions are caused by something or someone external makes them even more powerful. We feel out of control, when in reality the cause of these emotions is internal, dictated by our psychophysical apparatus.

What negative emotions do

Negative emotions come at a price. In fact they:

  1. deplete our precious energy
  2. are often contagious
  3. pollute the planet’s emotional plane

How to work with negative emotions

  1. Observe them

    Observe everything that happens and the reactions of your body and mind throughout the day. Do so without judging. This is very important in order to identify more and more with the witness. Remember, the witness is not judgmental.

  2. Do not manifest them

    Not manifesting is NOT the same as repressing your emotions.

    When you choose not to manifest an emotion, you are consciously and actively working on that emotion.

    Repression is the act of keeping something inside so forcefully you become in denial of it. Also, repression is never a choice. It’s something you do to avoid judgment and/or punishment.

    But if you choose not to manifest an emotion to work on that emotions, that is a conscious decision. There is no repression there. You are totally conscious of the way you feel, and you feel it to the core. You just do not manifest it for the world to see.

    For instance, a coworker called out and you had to stay overtime after a long shift. You are pissed off and want to complain about it to another coworker (thus manifesting your anger and frustration).

    If you choose not to complain, you are not repressing your anger and frustration. You are still pissed off and frustrated, but you are choosing to deal with it privately instead of making it a public affair.

    Now, if the negative emotion is so strong you can’t help but let it out, go ahead and do it. You can still do inner work by being present while you vent.

  3. Transmute them

    Transmutation happens when you are present.

    Whenever you are present, transmutation is happening within you. This is especially true if you are present during the manifestation of a negative emotion or when you are feeling such emotion.

    If you can be present on a  negative emotion, you are literally turning lead into gold. Little by little, you will be able to feel a negative emotion coming on and transmute it before it’s gotten a grip on you.

The Master Exercise

So here is an exercise to do every single day, every single time you feel a negative emotion.

This exercise is different from the others because it has to be done every single day from here on out:

Whenever you are in pain, suffering, unhappy, depressed, feeling the lowest low, remember that it is not because there is something inherently wrong with what’s happening, the situation, or yourself. You feel the way you do because you are perceiving reality with you mind, not with your Heart.

By any means, get pissed off, cry, scream, complain, let it all out. Just whenever you are “back,” think opposite to the way you usually think, and say to yourself: I am suffering because I don’t have eyes to see the beauty/positive aspects of this situation. Or you can say: I am not suffering. My host body and mind are suffering; I am not my body, I am not my mind.

Just use whatever formula resonates with you most.

Exercises for being present
Week 11

  1. Be present whenever you walk a brief distance (e.g., when walking from your car to the office, from home to the bus stop, from the car to the grocery store, etc.).
  2. Be present every time you get up and sit down, just like in Week 9.

Namaste,
Francesca
The Lone Wolf

Spiritual Awakening Journal ~ Week 10

With time and practice, come the results.

It’s inevitable.

The more you practice something, the better at it you get. It’s a fact, and this motivates me to stick to my path and whatever else in life I set my mind to.

This thought occurred me today as I was wire weaving my labradorites. I’ve come a long way since the first pendant I made last week. And the same can be said about this spiritual path.

I strive to do the exercises every day. Sometimes I remember (state of presence), sometimes I forget (state of waking sleep).

But every day, whether I do it once or a hundred times, I practice being present, and this is starting to impact my daily life.

First of all, the level of awareness is unprecedented.

I am much more aware of myself, my behavior, my thought process, my automatisms, etc. In turn, this allows me  to be more centered, less impulsive, handle tough situations with calm and a more positive mindset, and make better decisions overall.

Also, doing the exercises has helped me defeat fear, handle pain (both physical and emotional) more effectively, and just bounce back no matter what the day throws at me.

I have also noticed that the things that in the past would have bothered me enormously, now do not anymore.

As I mentioned in Monday’s blog post, awareness comes dis-identification,    and with dis-identification all the things that usually represent a problem or create turmoil suddenly no longer do.

It’s not always all peaches and cream, but even then it is not so bad; not as bad as it used to be anyway. Overall, my quality of life has taken a dramatic turn for the better ever since I’ve embarked on this Journey.

I look forward to seeing the developments over the remaining 15 weeks.

Namaste,
Francesca
The Lone Wolf