Spiritual Awakening Journal ~ Week 5

My fellow Spiritual Seekers,

Something amazing happened to me between Saturday, September 15 and Sunday, September 16.

I was reading over the fifth chapter in Brizzi’s book Awakening and getting the material ready for this week’s blog post when something suddenly came over me.

The instant in which everything changed for good

It was about twenty minutes past midnight when, in the blink of an eye, I found myself in the middle of a moment of intense clarity.

For the first time in my life, I was completely in the moment. I was present in a way I had never thought I could be. I was feeling it, and it was a feeling like no other, in an amazing way.

I felt One with existence. For the first time, that sense of “oneness” some people talk about made sense to me.

In an instant, it’s as if everything had started making sense, as if every secret in the Universe had been revealed to me.

The light in the dining room, the walls, my book, the furniture, my daughter asleep on my lap… it was as if I had been seeing everything for the first time, from a perspective totally alien to my body and mind.

Something beyond anything rational.

Could that have been a glimpse of awakening?

It was, as I discovered today, Friday 9/21 upon reading my fellow Spiritual Seeker’s blog post about the path toward universal consciousness. His post is where I learned about Satori, which turned out to be the name for what I experienced (read more about this term).

What could have caused this Satori moment?

I am quite sure the presence exercises I have been doing (and sharing with you guys every week) are to thank for this experience. I knew then as I know now that it had been thanks to them that the message in Brizzi’s book finally hit home.

I had read the chapter before, but it hadn’t had the same effect on me then, probably because at the time I hadn’t been doing the exercises regularly. Back then I was simply reading, looking for a phrase or a word that would lead me to an ah-ha moment of self-realization.

Truth is, when you read spiritual material and don’t actually practice any of it, you only get it on a theoretical level. Sometimes not even.

Insight on pity vs. compassion

This time, not only did what I was reading make sense to me, but I knew it to be true on a soul level.

People I had been feeling a certain way about suddenly didn’t bother me anymore. I thought of them and felt pure compassion toward them, a feeling I had never experienced before.

Pity is what I used to mistake for compassion. But in the state of Satori I felt pure compassion. For the first time I felt what is was.

I saw the world through the eyes of compassion; I felt this deep love, acceptance, and sense of oneness with everything animate and inanimate that exists, has ever existed, and will ever exist.

Not wanting Satori to come to an end

Then it dawned on me that that moment of sudden enlightenment might slip away any minute. I was awake in that moment, and I did not want to fall back into the state of waking sleep.

I decided to just enjoy the incredible sense of calm and infinity I was experiencing in that moment and watched the world without a veil before my eyes while it lasted.

It was the early hours of Sunday, September 16.

When I woke up on Monday, September 17, I woke up into waking sleep.

All over again.

Back to square one.

Back into a state of waking sleep

The veil is back. It’s like a fog between me and reality. I have to remind myself what during Satori came so natural to feel, what I had a soul understanding of.

Especially right after Satori, it almost felt as if the fog had thickened, the sleep had deepened. But it must have been because of the contrast between pure awareness and waking sleep.

Being back in this state after having had a taste of pure awareness is like going back into the abyss after having come up to the surface and discovered to have lungs to breathe something other than compressed air from a scuba tank.

Most of us are constantly below the surface, that’s the best way I can describe it, if it makes any sense at all.

But I am OK with it. I know I will experience Satori again as I journey along.

In fact, I have a feeling this is only the beginning.

What I have learned from my Satori experience

One thing that stayed with me from this experience is that there is no point in hating, holding grudges, and feeling guilty.

In fact, if people are in a state of waking sleep, then there is no real intention behind their actions, no plan. Consequently, there is no one to feel anger or resentment toward.

An unaware human has no free will. He/she behaves according to the whims of their mortal body and mind. How can you hold a grudge against someone in such condition?

Awareness and judging others

If you watch through the eyes of the Witness (pure awareness), then you will not judge others for their actions.

You will realize they are sleep-walking through life. If anything, you will feel compassion toward them, even more so when they act like total assholes to you.

Insight about Jesus

Another insight I had that night and into the next day was the way Jesus must have felt toward people.

He did not judge anybody because He knew they did not know any better. He knew “there was no one home.”

That’s why on the cross he said “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

And it sends shivers down my spine to say this, because it’s the deepest realization of my entire existence.

Never before in my life had I understood what He meant by those words.

I could not comprehend why he felt no hatred toward the people who were so cruelly executing him.

Suddenly, I did. And that has changed the way I see and feel about humanity.

In conclusion

Guys… We are not this body and this mind. We are more, but we don’t know what we are, and we won’t know until we awaken.

Only then will we be able to really be.

Speak up!

Have you ever experienced a Satori moment? Under what circumstances did that happen to you? How has it affected your life?

I want to hear from you!

As always, feel free to share your experience and opinions in the comment section below, or shoot me an e-mail with any questions at wayofthelonewolf@gmail.com

You can also reach me on Twitter @WayofdaLoneWolf

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I look forward to hearing from You and sharing with You.

Namaste,
Francesca
The Lone Wolf

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