The art of non-judgment

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”

There is much more to this Bible verse (Matthew 7:1) than what meets the eye.

Most people think this verse means that, if we judge, we will be judged by God in return.

Not quite.

In fact, God does not judge.

We humans, on the other hand, do.

We judge because of our dual mind. It is very human to divide everything into right or wrong, beautiful or ugly, and so on and so forth.

Because duality is the very nature of our mortal mind, we are bound to judge as long as we live in this physical, human, mortal body.

The more we judge others, the more we feel judged by others

In the same measure in which we judge others, we will feel judged by others. This is what Jesus meant when he said “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”

For example, if you tend to criticize people’s hair, you will feel like people are constantly judging yours. If you criticize people’s way of dressing, you will feel under scrutiny over your attire whenever you leave the house.

I look at people’s hands a lot and tend to be critical of them. No wonder I feel self-conscious about my own hands when they are not freshly manicured.

Whatever you criticize, you will feel criticized about

Your criticism of others is a really criticism toward yourself and things you dislike about yourself but you are stubbornly in denial about.

So, for example, if you criticize people who take a long time checking out at the store, you will feel all eyes on you when it’s your turn to check out (even when that is not the case).

It’s the same as when you develop a pimple on your forehead overnight. You’ll be self-conscious as hell about it. No one but yourself may notice or give a crap about it, but you will feel everyone’s eyes on it because your eyes are on it.

Get the drift?

Bottom line: if you want to stop that all-eyes-on-me feeling, try to develop some compassion and the art of non-judgment simply by being present to yourself, especially during times in which you are being judgmental toward another.

Positive judgement is also a way of judging

Why? Because most of the time it implies that the opposite of what we judge to be beautiful is ugly.

For instance, let’s take my personal example into consideration. I think to myself that manicured hands are beautiful. This automatically implies that non-manicured hands are not.

So how do we stop judging?

We do not.

We cannot.

If you try to stop judging, you will repress a natural, instinctual part of being human.

That will only do you more harm than good.

The best we can do is to be present to ourselves while our mind does the judging

By being present we slowly distance ourselves from our human mind.

We get to observe our personality and its workings from a detached point of view (the Soul vantage point), and slowly but surely become more compassionate and less judgmental.

Another thing we can do by being present when our mind is judging is to work on our own insecurities and learn more about ourselves.

Since we are going to judge till the day our physical body dies, why not make the most of it and use this very human characteristic to evolve and learn more about our subconscious patterns?

A word of warning

Becoming less judgmental does not mean we are going to be OK with everything that happens around us.

You can still pop someone in the face if they attack you; you can still have someone arrested if you know they’re breaking the law; you can still stand up to a bully and get pissed off at someone for stealing from you… only this time (by being present) you will do so with love in your heart, without resentment or animosity whatsoever.

It is OK to be and act human, but, by being present, you will do so with an open heart full of compassion. Big difference, my friend.

Exercise for being present
Week 15

This week, be present whenever you use the toilet. Yep, that is, be present whenever you go number 1 and/or 2. No distractions. No reading allowed.

Namaste,
Francesca
The Lone Wolf

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